ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
