I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
