my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
