Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
OPIZZABONMYDICK
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
