well you can't waste a boner
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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