Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
