He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize