what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
