I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
