dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
