I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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