He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Such a big mess for such a small penis
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
