Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
