I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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