someone owes me an orgasm
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
