We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Congratulations! We have a period
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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