never play flip cup with pint glasses
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
