You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm experimenting with sincerity
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
