Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
