He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
