I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize