Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
