Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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