New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My feet surprised me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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