And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
