I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
