I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
