he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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