I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
