she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
