I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
