she was so not down for the gang bang
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Its about making memories worth repressing
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
