I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
