i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
