...so i touched it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Vodka?
Forever.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
