Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
