My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize