Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
