do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
