I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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