You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
