I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm getting married
To pizza
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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