no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
