It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
