Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well I just put wine in my tea
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize