she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
