I'm sorry my penis didn't work
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
