Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
