I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
