I faked an abortion last night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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