I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
3 2 1 whiskey
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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