I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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