so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
