His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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