Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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