Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
