ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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