you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
