I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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