I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We're facebook friends in real life
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i love accidental penises.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
