I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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