did you get engaged???
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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