holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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