if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
